This blog follows Melanie Stoll’s missionary trek on The World Race. She is the daughter of Wade and Rosetta Stoll, who own Stoll’s Taxidermy and The Wild Whisk in Wheatland.
This is the tenth installment printed in the Record-Times. Read Stoll’s entire blog at melaniestoll.theworldrace.org.
I’m not use to being vulnerable, and if you don’t like that stuff either, then stop reading this right now.
At training camp for the World Race, I was an introvert in a world full of extroverts. An introvert that lacked confidence, didn’t feel like I was worth much, and didn’t feel like my voice mattered. Not being as outgoing as others, it was easy to hide in the shadows and not be noticed.
I had plans to go on the race with the soul purpose of helping other people, changing the world, and traveling. Little did I know you can’t really do this with out being changed yourself.
One night at camp, we circled up and people would speak words of truth to each other. Someone came up to me, whispered in my ear, “you are seen, and you are worth more then you can imagine.”
My initial thought was, “thanks, but you’re good at your job and know what words to tell people.”
But then it happened again, the first month of the race, a squad mate said “your voice matters.” And then again, the next month, a different squad mate looked me in the eye and said “You are important, valuable, and worthy.”
And then again the next month, and the next, and the next. Through words from friends, team mates, or kind letters of encouragement.
At our Awakening conference we were asked to write down how we thought God viewed us. Its month 7, I still roll my eyes at that type of stuff, but I decided to humor myself and bullet point the first things to come to my head.
He hears me and He see’s me
Loved, cherished, and pursued
He says I am worth it
I shrugged it off as my own thoughts, because why not..
That night during worship, a girl from a total different squad came up to me and said “I keep seeing you around and I feel like I should tell you that you are seen, your voice is heard, and you are worth it.”
Like, what? You read my journal girl?
Ya’ll, I am literally a 2x4, the nails are words of truth, and God is a great big hammer. Looking back over the months, every time I start to feel insecure, have doubts, and start believing the devils lies, the Lord suddenly pops up and hammers in another nail. He is constantly reminding me how much He loves me and He doesn’t let my stubborn, hard head, stop Him.
The best part is, if He thinks this about me, He definitely thinks the same about you.
If you don’t feel “worth it”, worth being loved, worth having friends, remember that Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice for you because He values you literally more then His life. You are worth so much in His eyes, and those are the only eyes that matter, because HE is where you should find your worth.
To the people that made it this far in the blog, and even to the ones that didn’t, You are seen, your voice matters, and you are so so so worth it.
