In most cases, when we think of the word grief, we think of death and dying. Grief isn’t only limited to the people we lose but it also encompasses parts of our life which had meaning. 

Webster’s defines grief as a “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement,” and in simple terms, grief is a deep emotional distress caused by as or as if by depriving of something or someone. 

There is no form of instruction listed below the definition for how to grieve. There is no subject list of “things you can grieve” about.  Nope, the definition just tells us it is okay to grieve when we have been deprived of something or someone. 

We all remember Bob, well, it turns out, maybe the reason behind Bob’s odd, withdrawn behavior is the fact the company Bob began working at 20 years ago just announced it’s closure. Bob is grieving and rightfully so. 

Sure, maybe he is handling it a little harder than you feel he should, but that’s not our place to decide. We all grieve differently. 

Maybe Bob sold lawnmowers at the Coast-to-Coast store on main street and the thought of doing lawncare right now is just a little too much for him. It’s not our place to tell Bob to get his thoughts and emotions in order. 

Some of us are grieving the loss of a loved one. Some of us are grieving the loss of a pet. Some of us are grieving the loss of a job. Truthfully speaking, we are all grieving. And that is okay. 

I heard a song a few years ago which put a new perspective on the word “grief.” The tune “Glitter,” by Patrick Droney, explains how grief is individualized and unpredictable. 

Have you ever been plugging along, living life and then bam...out of the blue, you feel a wave of grief overcome you? You see, “Grief it’s just like glitter. It’s hard to brush away. Bright light and it still shimmers like it was yesterday and it falls like confetti.”

Grief is something far more personal than most realize. Although there is a definition, there really aren’t any other guidelines for us to know if we are doing it “right.” 

There’s no instruction...just a process of emotional discomfort which sometimes makes it hard to breathe. 

“All of the memories explode like a hand grenade and it’s sweet and it’s bitter,” the song continues. “Grief, it’s like glitter. Oh, what a mess it makes. What a mess it makes.”

There is really no time limit on grief and there is really no time limit on the grieving process. It looks differently for each of us. 

Maybe Bob’s wife died ten years ago, and he just cleaned out his storage unit. Mixed in the boxes of old kitchen ware, household goods, old bookshelves, and baseball memorabilia, Bob found a speck of glitter.  

Sometimes it’s something as simple as an old photograph while sometimes it’s the scent of a loved one’s perfume. It is different for each of us. 

“Past denial and the rage. The what if and the praying on the hardest days,” the song continues. “You accept what you can’t change.”

Even though the actual event may have taken place sometime ago, the grief may still come in waves and that’s okay. Grief is about accepting what you cannot change.
Maybe there are some of us who grieve the things we can change however sometimes grief has a blindfold and we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Be kind. Just because you can’t see the glitter, doesn’t mean someone else can’t. Remember grief is personal. It is the most individualized emotion we have. Grief doesn’t care if you are having a good day, it’s going to show up unannounced. Grief doesn’t pick a certain situation to abide by. It comes when we are deprived on something we have grown accustomed to. Be kind to one another. We are all hurting. We are all grieving. And that’s okay.